Who’s Who in the Ancient Alien’s Bible: Part Two

Since the idea of supernatural deities is nonsense IMHO, perhaps there’s another explanation behind the more likely as not reality molehill hidden inside the traditional religious mythological mountain. That explanation could revolve around an extraterrestrial flesh-and-blood alternative.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

WHERE’S WHERE

Heaven: The name of God’s spaceship, or starship if you prefer.

Hell: The brig, located off-ship, probably on Earth, where one could be exiled to if need be.

Eastern Mediterranean (Israel; Land of Canaan; the Levant; Near East; Palestine): That part of terrestrial geography assigned to the officers and crew of the Spaceship Heaven as their area of responsibility. Contrast that with Zeus and company assigned the Middle Mediterranean; Odin and company responsible for the Norse lands; and the Great Spirit who looks after the North Amerindians; and so on.

Garden of Eden: Paradise was actually a terrestrial R&R spot for officers and crew of the Spaceship Heaven. God first had to expel human trespassers after they learned or overheard too much extraterrestrial knowledge forbidden to terrestrial ears. Later on however God gave Adam an interstellar ride in his Spaceship Heaven.

Towel of Babel: To disperse in quick-smart fashion the local population to the four corners of the globe, or even within the region, would have required considerable transport infrastructure.

Sodom & Gomorrah: The twin cities were destroyed via fire and brimstone from above, leaving no trace whatever after-the-fact. The obviously high tech weaponry might have been incendiary bombs or even nuclear weapons, but it certainly wasn’t any sort of destructive weapons technology common to that era.

WHAT’S WHAT

Miracles: High technology in action. As the late Arthur C. Clarke tended to put it, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, at least to those not technologically savvy. Among the high tech examples are the medical ones – healing the seriously sick and handicapped; resurrecting the very recently deceased; enabling very elderly women – over the hill and off the pill – to become fertile and bear offspring.

Food: Speaking of high tech miracles, what does one make of manna from heaven; loaves and fishes that multiply; wine from water? This almost makes you think of the food replication device used in Star Trek.

Noah’s Flood: A whole textbook could be written about the impossibilities of the Biblical tale of the flood and Noah’s Ark. The amount of water required can’t be produced. The boat isn’t near large enough to house and feed every species that would need to be given shelter. The crew isn’t sufficient to look after their charges. But, with just a bit of high tech tweaking, what if the Ark wasn’t for an actual universal disaster but a potential one, a real possibility given those high tech star wars, or wars between the various factions of deities (think of the ten year battle between the Titans and the Olympians; or what must have raged between God and Satan or will rage as per the forecast of Revelation; or the battle between the Frost Giants and the Norse deities; or all those aerial wars depicted in those ancient Hindu texts). Now instead of having entire forest worth of plants and all those animals requiring food and waste disposal, on board, substitute a botanical seed bank and a zoological equivalent, a repository of frozen eggs and sperm or embryos or genetic materials, etc. No need for food; no waste products; not much maintenance (crew time) required, and easily room for everything in the space allowed for the Ark in the Book of Genesis. The issue of course is that all of this is high tech way beyond the capabilities of the great unwashed of that era, the locals or natives. 

Burning Bush: This is an example of extraterrestrial hologram technology in action, employed to awe the local primitives, in this case Moses.

The Ark of the Covenant: Apparently a high and rather dangerous technological device, purpose not really well explained, but obviously more than just a storage box for a couple of stone tablets.

Clouds; Pillars of Fire; Flying Rolls; Star of Bethlehem; Aerial Chariots; Whirlwinds; Ezekiel’s Wheel, etc.: A UFO by any other name is still a UFO, and in most of these depictions, the object, say a ‘cloud’, is an actual vehicle that carries a passenger, more likely as not a Spaceship Heaven shuttlecraft. 

Germ Warfare & Biological Weapons: There are numerous examples in Biblical texts where high tech biological weapons were used against populations (i.e. – the Egyptians, even God’s Chosen People) and individuals like Job.

Transfiguration: Jesus led three of his followers up a mountain, and behold his face had a rather disquieting and unnatural glow about it (much like Moses after his CE3K). In fact Jesus, and/or his clothing, shone with some sort of bioluminescence. To add to this anomaly, Jesus had with him both Moses (long since considered the late Moses who had once been abducted) and Elias (otherwise known as Elijah, the abducted). Further a ‘cloud’ that hovered over this gathering ‘spoke’ to them, one and all, with words that implied that this was God himself doing the speaking. Then the ‘cloud’ vanished like a bat out of hell. Wow! There is surely something strange afoot going on here. By the way, in common with a lot of other Biblical tales, this is repeated several times, in the Books of Matthew, Mark and Luke. In fact, I’d suggest that if you eliminated all of the duplications, the Bible would be 10% thinner!

The Ascension: Jesus departs Planet Earth to take up his new job as First Officer on the Spaceship Heaven, sitting at the right hand of her captain.

Hologram Technology: A very useful ways and means of inspiring awe in the great unwashed. Examples that spring to mind include the ‘burning bush’ and Jesus ‘walking on the water’ and appearing in the ‘flesh’ post execution.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

There have been no verified and documented sightings of the main Biblical players (God, Satan, Jesus, angels, etc.) in way over 2000 years. Where are they? I suspect they have gone away. I further suspect God and crew were recalled to home base to stand trial for crimes against humanity, though many, like Jesus, were exonerated, having played no part or role at Sodom & Gomorrah or in the use of biological weapons and waging germ warfare. Satan and his fallen angels were recalled too, probably picked up from exile, to give account for their original mutiny. Perhaps as we read this Captain Jesus of the Spaceship Heaven (or some other interstellar vessel) is boldly going and finding new Garden of Eden locales to R&R in throughout the cosmos.  

CONCLUSION

It is clear that not everything in the Bible can be easily interpreted in an extraterrestrial context, probably because much of the text’s content tends to be rather mundane soap opera of a humans-only nature. That aside, after you take into consideration all the versions, all the translations and associated issues with that, translation and copying errors (deliberate and accidental), embellishments, artistic license, human imagination needed to fill in the gaps, plus the multiple authorship of all the Biblical texts itself, not to forget that the texts weren’t written down till decades, even many generations after-the-fact (it’s like nobody recorded and wrote down today’s news until the year 2112 – many an error would be made), I conclude that the Bible can largely be interpreted not in a supernatural way but rather an extraterrestrial one.

Unfortunately, if I am right, then all your theological baggage of an eternal life everlasting goes right down the drain – maybe not a bad thing if you thought you were Hell-bound, or even if Heaven-bound as the concept of eternal life is actually hellish as you would rather quickly be bored out of your afterlife skull, and you still have infinity yet to come.

Who’s Who in the Ancient Alien’s Bible: Part One

Since the idea of supernatural deities is nonsense IMHO, perhaps there’s another explanation behind the more likely as not reality molehill hidden inside the traditional religious mythological mountain. That explanation could revolve around an extraterrestrial flesh-and-blood alternative.

INTRODUCTION

Erich Von Daniken asked the question “was God as astronaut?” Traditional Christians, Muslims, and those of the Jewish faiths of course answer “No”, God was (and is) a supernatural deity. Those more inclined to be free thinkers pondering realities outside of the religious box, answer anywhere from “Maybe” to “Yes”. If the latter, how might Biblical characters, places and events be interpreted in an ‘ancient astronaut’ context. Who’s who, Where’s where and what’s what?

All interpretations are based on the text of the King James Version of all things Biblical.

WHO’S WHO

God: OIC and captain of the Spaceship Heaven. His real alien name is of course Yahweh, or in the vowelless version YHWH, but I’ll just shorten that to God, a name that all and sundry recognise.

Satan: God’s original First Officer and second in command of the Spaceship Heaven, later exiled to Hell, or at least to Earth, for mutiny. 

Fallen Angels: Fallen Angels are those officers and crew who were in cahoots with Satan in the unsuccessful mutiny against Captain God and who were court-martialed and stripped of their status and rank and exiled to Hell on Earth. 

The Seraphim: Because the Seraphim have six wings, they are probably a separate extraterrestrial race aligned with the alien race of beings to which God and company belong. [Well Star Trek exhibited a multi-species crew from the start.] One such alien was apparently someone called Metatron, an angel who acted as the ‘voice of God’, a scribe, and is the tallest and greatest of the lot. ‘He’s’ sort of the chief cook and bottle washer on the Spaceship Heaven.

The Cherubim (singular is cherub): The extraterrestrial Cherubim might be related to the Seraphim in that they are enormous four-winged beings. The definitive book in the Bible on cherubim is the Book of Ezekiel, mainly the first and tenth chapter.

Governor or Watcher Angels: These are your typically obedient angels who just sort of watch over humanity in general, a sort of extraterrestrial Peeping Tom some of who had an eye for the Daughters of Men.   

Archangels: Senior officers of Spaceship Heaven. Those messenger and battle ready angels. The best known of the lot were the archangels who are very high-ranking angels indeed, starting with Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, but followed by Uriel, Simiel, Orifiel and Zachariel.

Angels: Ordinary crewmembers of the Spaceship Heaven, forever running errands for the senior officers.

Sons of God: Apparently hand chosen senior crew members, perhaps literally biological offspring of Captain God. The Sons of God were apparently some or all of the Governor or Watcher Angels.

Daughters of Men: Human females.

Nephilim: The offspring of the Sons of God and the Daughters of Men. They were apparently the ‘giants’ referred to ‘in the Earth’, though exactly how giant was giant isn’t spelled out.

Jesus: Another offspring of the Sons of God and the Daughters of Men, albeit much farther on down the historical track, or perhaps the offspring between God himself and the Daughters of Men (well one anyway). Jesus would later rise (from the ‘dead’) to become First Officer on board Spaceship Heaven. That Jesus is an extraterrestrial is admitted by himself in John 8:23. Of note here is that Jesus probably used holographic technology to give an appearance of walking on water and/or appearing alive and in the ‘flesh’ post execution – which he survived, another sign of high technology in operation. 

Baal: God’s prime extraterrestrial rival for power and authority in the region, though there’s never any direct and open physical conflict twixt the two.

Moses: Just one of several abductees noted and logged in Biblical texts. He was abducted by a ‘cloud’ and carried on up the mountain for a close encounter with a supreme alien lawmaker. Upon his return his face had an unnatural glow about it which caused those waiting his return to be afraid of him.

Jacob: Witnessed (or dreamed about) angels ascending and descending to and from Spaceship Heaven.

Ezekiel: A human who had a close encounter of the third kind (those Cherubim) plus an associated abduction event.

Jonah: Spent three days and nights in isolation inside a technological craft.

Joshua: 1) Was in possession of high technology sonic weaponry at Jericho. 2) He later witnessed several UFOs that stood still in the sky providing illumination for his army.

Enoch and Elijah: These two human males are the only two whose ultimate fate (death) we don’t know anything about. Both humans apparently joined the Spaceship Heaven at the behest of her captain never to be seen again, albeit Elijah was spotted with Jesus by three of his disciples (see Transfiguration).

Old Age Pensioners: Methuselah, Noah, Adam as well as others, apparently lived to really, really ripe old ages, way, way, way beyond the standard three score and ten. The explanation: these were humans invited by the officers and crew of Spaceship Heaven to take a relativistic interstellar journey at velocities at a considerable fraction of the speed of light. They aged normally on board, but because of the time dilation effect, time passed more rapidly back on Earth, or more slowly on the spaceship (same difference), such that they returned home hundreds of terrestrial year’s later – Earth time - thus the false appearance that they were hundreds of years old at journey’s end but didn’t look a day over thirty because they really weren’t a day over thirty! It’s referred to as the Twin Paradox of Special Relativity, though it’s not really a paradox at all, just the logical conclusion of the equations of Special Relativity which have been verified by observation and experiment, at least on the micro scale.

Matthew, Mark, Luke & John: A quartet of roving reporters who independently investigated what was to them relatively recent history – just several generations had passed – each in his own way. The topic of their investigation was an alleged historical figure, a figure that seemed to have gained some degree of uniqueness, notoriety and prominence as a possible deity and the quartet wrote up their short biographies accordingly. 

To be continued…

Biblical UFOs, Abductions & Ancient Astronauts: Part Two

Nearly all of us are familiar to a greater or lesser extent with the concept of ‘ancient astronauts’ – extraterrestrials that influenced human history many millennia ago. Evidence is cited from around the world, and draws on mythology, religion, out of place artefacts, artistic works, and the construction of various monumental megaliths that modern society and modern engineering would be hard pressed to reconstruct. It shouldn’t be surprising that a small fraction of that evidence has been culled from the Bible. 

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

MORE UFO CLOUDS

Speaking of clouds as a term for UFOs by those who comprehended the idea of a ‘cloud’ but not of an extraterrestrial atmospheric shuttlecraft, we note that a Biblical ‘cloud’ actually transports; it goes up and down and contains passengers. Here are a few examples from the Old Testament.

Exodus 13:21: And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night.

Exodus 16:10: And it came to pass, as Aaron spake unto the whole congregation of the children of Israel, that they looked toward the wilderness, and, behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.

*When the Lord assisted His Chosen People out of Egypt, He didn’t hoof it like the Israelites but oversaw events from his aerial ‘cloud’.

Numbers 11:25: And the LORD came down in a cloud.

Numbers 12:5: And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood in the door of the tabernacle.

Numbers 12:10: And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle.

*Clearly this ‘cloud’ not only has a passenger (the Lord) but lands and takes off.

Deuteronomy 31:15: And the LORD appeared in the tabernacle in a pillar of a cloud: and the pillar of the cloud stood over the door of the tabernacle.

*God’s own personal aerial limousine again is depicted as a ‘cloud’. 

Psalm 104:3: Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind.

*We note the association between (aerial) clouds and transportation (chariots), as well as a hint of actually being airborne. I mean if you’re in an aircraft and you move about the cabin, you could be said to be walking on the wings of the wind in a manner of speaking.

Isaiah 19:1: Behold, the LORD rideth upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt: and the idols of Egypt shall be moved at his presence, and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.

*Not only does God ride as if a passenger in a cloud, but the ‘cloud’ is moving along at a pretty quick-smart pace.

Jeremiah 4:13: Behold, he shall come up as clouds, and his chariots shall be as a whirlwind: his horses are swifter than eagles.

*A multi-association is depicted between a passenger and clouds and chariots and whirlwinds and speed.

Ezekiel 1:4: And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

*I repeat the quote of what kick-started Ezekiel’s close encounter, but noting specifically the associations between a whirlwind and a cloud as well as fire (akin to that pillar of fire in Exodus?) and brightness. While a whirlwind-cloud might be a tornado, that sort of weather event isn’t common in the region and isn’t associated with fire and brightness. Besides, this whirlwind-cloud disembarked living creatures.

Ezekiel 10:3: Now the cherubims stood on the right side of the house, when the man went in; and the cloud filled the inner court.

*Could this be a suggestion of a landed UFO ‘cloud’ that first landed and then disembarked a man in an inner courtyard? If the cloud had really been fog then more than just the inner court would have been filled.

UFO ‘clouds’ aren’t confined to just the Old Testament. The New Testament clouds the issue as well.

Matthew 17:5: While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.

Mark 9:7: And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.

Luke 9:34: While he thus spake, there came a cloud, and overshadowed them: and they feared as they entered into the cloud.

Luke 9:35: And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.

*It would appear that God’s cloudy limousine has made the transition from Old to New Testament.

Luke 21:27: And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.

*It would also appear that Jesus gets to ride in his daddy’s cloudy limo too, or more likely he had one of his own.

Acts 1:9: And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.

*Up, up and away he went in a ‘cloud’ only to finally vanish from sight.

Revelation 1:7: Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him.

Revelation 10:1: And I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven, clothed with a cloud: and a rainbow was upon his head, and his face was as it were the sun, and his feet as pillars of fire.

*What goes up must come down, and so those who from on high who will partake in Armageddon will need to transport on down, and of course the preferred means is via that ‘cloud’.

Revelation 11:12: And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.

*What goes down must go up. Mortals hail a taxi; ET thumbs a ride back to his heavenly abode via a ‘cloud’.

To be continued…

An Ancient UFO Event: The ‘Star’ of Bethlehem

The New Testament ‘Star of Bethlehem’ event apparently coincided with the so-called ‘birth’ of Jesus Christ – assuming Jesus Christ actually existed; not all scholars see eye-to-eye on that point. The ‘Star’ has been interpreted as an astronomical, astrological, supernatural, even fictional event. I suggest that perhaps it was an extraterrestrial event, extraterrestrial as in ‘ancient astronaut’ or UFO related.

We have no idea what date Jesus Christ (hereafter J.C.) was ‘born’, if a virgin ‘birth’ can be interpreted as being somehow naturally ‘born’. Because nobody has a real clue about the actual ‘birth’ date of J.C., there’s only a one in 365.25 chance that it was December 25^th. That’s not good betting odds in most people’s bookkeeping. The 25^th of December is a pure invention on the part of the Christian Church, the hijacking of a pagan winter festival that celebrated the rebirth of the Sun; the return of lengthening hours of daylight – even the exact year of J.C.’s ‘birth’ is uncertain. Some scholars and astronomers have tried to pin the date and year down by trying to come to terms with the related ‘Star of Bethlehem’ event. However, IMHO, this is futile because the ‘Star’ had nothing to do with celestial phenomena and everything to do with an extraterrestrial spaceship.

The so-called ‘Star of Bethlehem’ is of little use in pinning down J.C.’s date and year of ‘birth’. Despite speculation that the ‘Star’ was a conjunction of two or more stellar and/or planetary objects, the ‘Star’ would still resolve itself into two or more points of light, even though apparently in very close proximity. Further, that two or three individual points of light connection would also have been obvious to observers in the days and weeks before (as the points of light grew closer together) and after (as they drew apart again). A supernovae or a comet would have been visible for many days’ even weeks. A ‘shooting star’ would visually last for way too short an interval. No, the ‘Star’ must have been a one-off short duration event. Let’s call a spade a spade here – the ‘Star’ was a classic UFO sighting! The proof of that pudding is that the so-called ‘Star’ led people, wise men or otherwise, to a very, very specific geographical location, something no astronomical object could do. 

An astronomical object (apart from actual or potential polar stars) just doesn’t stay put in the sky at a fixed point. Celestial objects traverse the sky in a generally east to west fashion. A real ‘Star’ of Bethlehem in order to be useful had to stand still. 

Consider that any astronomical object(s) would rise and set with the rotation of the Earth. Because the Earth’s axis is tilted (other than on the days of the equinoxes) with respect to the greater outside, the positions of celestial objects with respect to Earth’s compass directions alters, even over short time intervals. Say in high summer in Australia (December 21^st), the Sun rises in the extreme southeast and sets in the extreme southwest; it doesn’t follow a straight east-west path. So if you follow the Sun on the summer solstice ‘Down Under’, you sort of traverse a curve, not a straight line.

Now consider even following a celestial object that does rise due east and sets due west. Say you see the planet Venus shinning brightly in the western sky (as the Evening ‘Star’). You head towards it. Where do you end up? Well, somewhere to the west of where you started from. The point where you end up is the location you’re at when you get tired of following Venus or when Venus sets beneath the western horizon.

But if you spot a UFO towards the west and walk towards it, sooner or later (assuming it doesn’t fly away) the object will be directly overhead and you know you’ve arrived at your destination. Now 2000+ years ago, many prosaic explanations for our modern UFOs couldn’t be entertained. The ‘Star’ of Bethlehem couldn’t have been a weather balloon, or aircraft, or flare, or helicopter, or satellite, or piece of space junk re-entering the atmosphere and burning up, etc. Who would think to hoax a UFO event back then? Of course maybe it was just ‘swamp gas’; or ‘ball lightning’; or ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’, but ghee-whiz, what a coincidence that such rare natural phenomena would just happen to coincide with the ‘birth’ of J.C. (or shortly thereafter – some scholars think the audience bearing gifts arrived a few months after-the-fact). In any event, ‘ball lightning’, etc., like a ‘shooting star’, has a natural duration of a minute or two; probably just a few seconds. Hardly time to get one’s bearings. So it’s back to a bona-fide UFO (as extraterrestrial spaceship) happening. 

Piling on the speculation, let’s say our UFO was, say if not Starship Heaven (my presumed extraterrestrial-in-residence and ‘ancient astronaut’ God’s spacecraft), at least a shuttlecraft from same. If the infant J.C. were, in a manner of speaking ‘beamed down’, well more likely as not delivered to the stables or wherever the prospective adoptive parents and hangers-on were assembled, well that would be something akin to a ‘virgin birth’. Modern UFO abduction lore would suggest that our modern aliens, the greys say, do have some sort of beaming technology, but that’s probably not really a necessary bit of technology required for our purposes. 

One obvious question arises. Why would ‘ancient astronauts’, if interested in spreading their word, or undertaking missionary related efforts, send down an infant instead of an adult of some knowledge and stature? The only thing that comes to mind and makes sense is acclimatization, mingling with and getting to know and think and live like the natives think and live. An extraterrestrial infant who is ‘born’ and grows up and matures in a terrestrial society – becomes one of us – is probably a far more credible potential missionary than a fully adult extraterrestrial who just pops in from down high and starts preaching. ‘God’ tried that in the Old Testament and things didn’t work out too well.